You are looking for a copy of Goethe's collected poems in a bookstore, but the aisles are not
clearly marked and you find yourself in the middle of an aisle with German language books rising up on either side of you. The fact is, you've always wanted to learn German. You are a great fan of Goethe and of many other German writers and philosophers, Dichter und Denker, as you recall having heard one of your German friends refer to them. But it seems like every time you've been about to buy a language book and start studying German on your own, the person standing next to you in the bookstore has said something like, “German? Why don't you try something a little easier, like Swahili?”
Should You or Shouldn't You?
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning German on Your Own catches your eye as you stand in
the middle of the aisle. You take it off the shelf. The first question you ask yourself is: “Do I have the time to learn German now?” The second question is: “Will I stick with it?” The third question is: “What will be the immediate benefits of acquiring the basic German language skills?” Only you can answer the first two questions. (You will make the time! You will stick to it!) Here is a list of answers for the third:
• You will be able to communicate with your Mercedes Benz in its mother tongue.
• A rich relative has given you a $2,000 dollar programmable German watch. After you acquire
some basic German language skills, reading the owner's manual will be a piece of cake.
• You want to figure out once and for all if that thing so many people call you when you sneeze is an insult or a compliment. You'll be able to, once you know German.
• When you do finally visit the Bundesrepublik, you won't have to order sauerkraut for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• When you go to the Oktoberfest in Munich, you will be able to ask one of the locals where the
restroom is without having to resort to your pocket German-English/English-German dictionary. And you'll be able to understand the answer.
• You will finally have the language skills to tell your German Shepherd to play dead.
• You're nuts about Wienerschnitzel. After reading this book, you'll be able travel around Germany and convince the greatest German chefs to reveal to you the secret of how Wienerschnitzel is made.
• You'll be able to make your tennis fantasies realities. The next time you play Boris Becker and
bicker over the match point, he'll understand every word you say.
Now that you know the reasons that best suit your needs, it's time to get serious.
Why, honestly, should you learn German?
Get Serious.
The following are some (more) serious reasons why you might want to study German.
• You're a businessperson. A united Germany is redefining itself in the world market-place and it is becoming increasingly necessary for people interested in expanding their business opportunities to have a working knowledge of German. After the near collapse of the economy in the wake of World War II, Germany soon developed into one of the world's most powerful trading nations, second only to the United States. Indeed, the quality of many German products (including automobiles, watches, and audio and industrial equipment) is a byword all around the world.
• In the academic world, familiarity with German is a great advantage. As a student in the liberal arts you should be familiar with Kafka, Hesse, Rilke, and Nietzsche. And what was Mac the Knife really up to? Did Wilhelm Tell really shoot the apple from his son's head?
• If you're studying to be a chemist or physicist, you might want to read up on the latest brews
German scientists are cooking up at the Max Planck Institute.
• You're obsessed with Sigmund Freud. You've read all his books in English and you're already
familiar with many of the untranslatable terms. But being familiar with a few German phrases isn't enough—you want to be able read Freud's works in the original language. Of course, it will take years of study and dedication before you'll be able to do this, but you have to start somewhere.
• You are obsessed with Carl Jung. Ditto everything about Freud.
• Germans aren't the only people who speak German. It is spoken in Austria, Switzerland, and
Luxemburg. There also are many areas in France, Belgium, Denmark, Italy, and South Africa
with German-speaking minorties.
• You are an artist. Gustav Klimt, Egon Schiele. Need we say more?
• You are a musician. You were born humming Johann Strauss' Tales From the Vienna Woods.
You live for Wagner. Bach kills you. It's not enough to be able to read music—you want to
learn the language of these musical geniuses and understand the lyrics of your favorite German
operas.
• You are interested in a career in cartoon animation. You've heard that many elements in Disney productions have been borrowed from German poetry, fables, and fairy tales (one of the major Disney icons is the castle Neuschwanstein). If aspects of German culture have been an
inspiration to others in your field, perhaps they also will be an inspiration to you.
• You've tried American spas, and they don't seem to work for you. Because German
baths—known as die Kurorte—have been famous for centuries for curing all kinds of ailments,
you figure it might not be such a bad idea to try one of those. You're convinced that learning
enough German to have simple conversations with the people sweating in the sauna with you will make your experience more enjoyable.
Immerse Yourself
Everybody knows that the best way to learn a new language is to totally immerse yourself in it.
When you buy books of German poetry, buy the ones where the German translation is given
alongside the English so that your eyes can move back and forth between the two. Buy German
newspapers. Sit near German tourists in restaurants and cafés and imitate the sounds they make when they speak—you should imitate these sounds to yourself, of course. Here are a few
suggestions for immersing yourself up to your neck in German.
• If grammar is tough for you in English, it isn't going to be any easier in German. Examine your
goals, honestly evaluate your linguistic abilities, and set your pace accordingly. One thing you
may want to keep in mind as you proceed is that if you're reading this book, it means you've
already learned at least one language. And what does that mean? If you can learn one, you can
learn another. Don't allow yourself to get discouraged. You may not end up authoring faultless
German grammar books, but with patience and persistence, you'll certainly learn enough
German to increase your appreciation of the German culture. You should have a time—mornings, afternoons, whatever suits you best—devoted entirely to the study of German.
• Invest in or borrow a good bilingual dictionary. A Langenscheidt standard dictionary costs
approximately $19.00.
• Rent German movies. You can understand more than you think just by listening to and watching the actors.
• Tune your radio station to public service programs in German. Watch German shows on your TV. Go to public libraries and listen to language tapes. This will help you master German
pronunciation.
• Make tapes of yourself speaking German and then play these tapes to a native German speaker. Locate your linguistic strengths and weaknesses.
• Make German friends.
• Read everything you can get your hands on. Children's books are a good place to start (Janosh,
for example, is an author of simple and entertaining German children's books). Read the
Brother's Grimm (die Gebrüder Grimm) side by side with the translation. Whenever you buy a
new product, look for and read the German instructions on the side of the packet or in the
instruction booklet. Bedeck (bedecken in German, meaning “to cover”) your coffee table with
German newspapers: Frankfurter Allgemeine and WAZ (Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung)
and German magazines: Focus, Die Bunte, and Der Stern, to name a few.
There's Nothing to Fear
Many people are afraid of studying a foreign language. Some people are downright terrified. They think it will be too much work—too many new sounds, too many new words—and that the
grammar will be too difficult. Well, the only thing we can say to that is, nothing is too difficult—not if you're willing to apply yourself. We're not going to lie to you. You can't learn any language
overnight. You have to make an effort. Learning a language takes time and a certain amount of
determination. One thing we can assure you of is that if you take it slowly—at your own pace—without allowing yourself to get discouraged, you can only get better at it. Here are a few tips to help you maintain a positive attitude:
• Don't let yourself feel bullied by the grammar. Research shows that the best language learners are those who are willing to take risks and make mistakes. There are a lot of things to learn in any new language, but that doesn't mean you have to learn them all at once. Stick to simple
grammatical constructions.
• Speaking of mistakes, try not to think of them as out-and-out “mistakes.” Instead, think of them as stepping stones to really smart “mistakes” that will get you closer to speaking the language correctly.
• Don't let new sounds silence you. Practice vowel sound combinations. Make rumbling sounds in the back of your throat whenever you get the chance—in cabs, subways, buses, or at night
before falling asleep. When you aren't speaking German, speak English with a German accent.
And remember, there are many different regional accents in Germany—your accent will fit in
among them somewhere!
• Don't be intimidated by Germans. They are a hospitable people and are impressed by anyone who tries to speak their language. After all, when you encounter someone who speaks English as a second language, don't you generally discount the small errors they make and marvel instead that this person speaks as well as he or she does? Germans will feel that way about you when you omit a preposition or use an incorrect verb tense.
• Don't be put off by the reputation the German language has for being difficult. It actually has a
great deal in common with English. If you apply yourself, you will soon discover that it is easier
than you thought and that it also is fun to learn.
